Archive for January 3, 2010

I love you, more than these

Me, the owl. I am such a night person, and I am trying to change it. Tonight the whole family slept at 9:07 p.m. A breakthrough for a family of owls! But here I am again– it’s 11:43. I woke up one hour and 45 minutes ago, and I cannot go back to sleep. I woke Joey up. I told him I was going to worship and if he was interested to come along. He agreed and so we went to the other room so as not to wake the kids up.

I was in tears as soon as Joey hit the first chords. I simply miss the presence. Wherever I have been, whatever i have done or now do, His presence remains to be my home. I just got lost in the river of His love… I just basked once more in the abundance of His grace. Oh, how I long for my God’s embrace.. how I cherish such moments!

When the music faded and tears were dried, we prayed. In the gentleness of His love we longed for more intimacy. Joey prayed a soft but very powerful prayer:

Lord, I love you more than the financial support… more than the pledges, more than ministry, more than disciples, more than fruits. More than Raya, more than Ria, more than Jez. I love you.

Oh, how I agreed. But wait… More than finances? But why is it that when we lack this I would be so worried to the point of giving up? More than disciples? But why would having fruits/ disciples right away be such an “unspoken” pressure to me, then? More than ministry? But why would we be bothered that we still do not have a ministry at this point? That prayer was indeed powerful, hit me real hard. Once again this picture led me to Jesus asking Peter, “do you love me more than these?”– Joey just answered “yes”. I believe I need to do the same!